The Fear
By QuatzuOctober 22nd, 2007
By Ken Blaznek
I think it’s fair to say that I’ve developed the reputation as one of the more nervous graphic design seniors at CCS. I know that I am not alone, and that things are not all peachy for some of the rest of you as well, so I feel like it is my duty to take a look at things from this angle. Call it a sacrifice.
It is becoming quite clear, through personal discussions and the writing on this blog, that some students are having an easier time at school than others. Some of us are struggling to remain motivated and positive down this final stretch, while others claim to be breezing by in a state of pure design bliss. I’ve decided to expose this gap because I don’t want the rest of us to feel alienated or lose hope. I want us to share our anxieties, and I want those of us who are able to handle them better to offer advice beyond “just relax.”
One might think that the anxieties that I am experiencing are just my own personal problems that should be left to my own sorting out. Some may dismiss them as universal anxieties held by most college seniors. I do not think this is the case. I believe the confusion and pressure we of the nervous persuasion feel are uniquely attributable to the field we are trying to crack into and the overall weirdness of our chosen path. If you disagree, try relating this stuff to your friends studying accounting at Eastern Michigan University. Exactly.
In other words, we have come together at CCS in a very unique situation. We’ve taken a brave leap that few could even come close to being able to handle, and we should be damn proud of that. We are a privileged and intelligent bunch, genuinely in search of “something more,” and we have been given free reign to express ourselves in a cozy and nurturing environment. This is our time to get into ourselves and have some fun before the “real world” comes crashing down on us in May. For some of us, quite frankly it just isn’t fun anymore.
So what is it about this field that is so damn terrifying? As of this moment, I do not have any answers, and I can barely articulate the questions. I want to open this up to everyone to use this space as a place to work some issues out for each other. Where do the blockages exist that keep some of us from enjoying design? How have some of you fought through The Fear? What gives you confidence? What are some of you afraid of?
Please, let’s help each other out.
I am right there with you ken. i think one of the hardest parts of getting through ccs was having all of my friends going to msu. i feel like all they ever did was party party party. sure they did there homework and studied for their exams. But they also had the whole weekend off to party it up and do whatever usually. it’s a much different case for ccs because our work does not consist of just reading and memorizing or figuring out math problems. being creative and making things while being conceptual can be the most time consuming and frusterating thing. now that most of my friends are graduating and getting real jobs i am finding it harder to be motivated. all i can think about is being done with school and getting a job.
honestly, i can’t wait for the real world to come crashing down on me. at least with the real world we are being paid for what we are doing rather than spending a fortune for it. i know it’s for our own benefit and we signed up for it but i am definately one of the people that is not really having that much fun with it anymore. a break would be nice and i think i am not the only one that feels this way.
don’t get me wrong, i love design and i do like what i do but after going to college for about 6 years i am ready for a change in my life.
I concur! I’m been a professional student for waaaay too long. Most my friends have already a) graduated and working b) finished grad school and working…then there’s me. My friends little brother graduated before me. There’s a point where school and everything that comes with it just starts to get annoying and you need a change of pace & scenery to “feel alive” again.
Another thing to look at is those who have had to work constantly while going to school and those who did not, or have just recently acquired an internship. There were so many times when I was just so caught up in the daily struggles of life (bills, car broke down, having no health insurance and being sick, 100 mile round trips to school and back etc.) that those worries and struggles alone are enough to burn you out. But on top of all that we are students at a highly rated/competitive school expected to perform. It’s sent me over the top more than once. However I have learned some good tools to help lessen the melt downs or avoid them in the first place that I may not have otherwise learned had I just been a full time student without having to balance work and school.
I think The Fear grabs ahold of even the most confident and artistically inclined individuals now and then, and I am no exception. I know personally the biggest Fear I have is not of meeting deadlines, making the grade, coming up with groundbreaking design solutions or letting down my peers or instructors. My fear is much more personal, yet it goes far beyond my own goals and expectations.
The Fear that I have is about letting down those who have nurtured me my entire life – my family. I keep doing what I do because I remember the sacrifices they have made in my name, so that I may continue to do what I do. Letting down those individuals is perhaps my single greatest Fear, and I refuse to embrace it and stand in it’s shadow. For them alone I will sacrifice sleep, money, time, energy and everything else it is we gave up when we made the choice to come to this school and do what it is we do.
Though I’d never describe my time at CCS as a pure breeze, I can genuinly say that for the most part, I have found this experience rather enjoyable. It should not be assumed that my experience has always been, or will continue to be pleasant. I think that everyone struggles in their own way, whether inside the classroom or out, be it with projects or that greater thing we call life. Since life is a given, lets be more specific. “What is it about the FIELD that is so terrifying? Life will always be there. What’s causing our anxieties now, as students of graphic design? Pinpoint this, then maybe we can start to help each other out.
I changed my mind. I think it’s just the “student” part. Please see The Fear II.
That’s it. We’re copying and pasting this into Spine. FYI. I think every designer needs to hear this, veterans and rookies alike. Lots of little fears haunt us, and through my experience, these little fears seem to only multiply and expand as these semesters pass. To know that many students are in the same boat as yourself is hugely beneficial. Good job Ken. Cut, print.